I'm a bit down, and generally tired, so i wouldn't expect much activity from me if i were you. Well... last month of last year in school, basically. And a few other things that are leaving me overfilled with feelings of the intense, uncontrollable kind... damn, i feel so out of it.

I'm not sure i'll be drawing soon... just don't forget me here XD I've a terribly hard time with getting beyond the sketch stage without hating everything in front of me. So, well... another month past and nothing from me.

I wish i'd done something fun on Halloween ;3; *glares at friends* i did watch Inglorious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino though, and it was such sadistic fun!

Also, must finish Sandman.

Rereading EVA

Need MOAR vampiric stuff.

It seems my birthday is here... and october is almost over i'm so... well... i've so little to say i don't feel older, but don't like thinking of myself as young and naive. Not really. Who knows. Ok, i'll draw something. Maybe. Or not. And read like a good girl... come to think of it, i'm doing that all right. Hmm. Stalk redheads then. Sounds nice... good plan for a birthday.

I don't feel like making a long jornal entry, so... oh boy, september. Time sure does go by fast. And i'm panicking, lol. Little drawing, getting busy and stressed and somewhat depressed. And frightened. It's a time of change for me... and all that isn't quite right about me hurts and keeps showting "hey there! don't forget about me!". And i haven't read my manga enough ;o; nor finished Sandman yet...
Well, i'll try to scan some stuff, mainly ugly sketches or random stuff and get it up here, i have this really exaggered bloody one with suggestive themes of sorts and... some SAI sketches(since the borrowed tablet isn't working well with PS, probably too heavy for the PC lol)and doing the memes =haruh and ~EzLatias asked me too. Don't worry, darlings, i'm working on it, but school kills my time and depression takes my will to do much of anything away... and some other factors have been polluting my mind

" I am the seeker/ I won't get what I'm after/'Til the day i die" The Who, The Seeker

" If i were alone, I would cry/ If I were with you I'd be home and dry/ If I go insane please don't put your wires in my brain" Pink Floyd, If

"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo/ What the hell am I doing here?/ I don't belong here" Radiohead, Creep

"Measuring a summer's day/ I only find it slips away to gray/ The hours, they bring me pain" Led Zeppelin, Tangerine

"Love of my life, you've hurt me/ You've taken my love and now you leave me/ Love of my life can't you see/ Bring it back, bring it back/ Don't take it away from me 'cuase you don't know what it means to me" Queen, Love of My Life

Is it really? I must admit it seems to me like it's gone by much too quickly, only a few more months and i'm free from school forever, and start my own path... i honestly can't way to do my things, learn, read, draw, write, find my way to be happy. Of course i'm somewhat scared, who isn't when they're faced with the unknown... and there are days and days. Sometimes i hate everything i draw, hate anything related to me in general, and then the next day or even just a few hours later i feel better, like there's a lot of time for all, and that i'll be fine... but considering how much times passes me by, i can't help but doubt if there's really so much of it. And... i've pretty much no plans for my future. None that i'd start on roght now, at least. Though that also depends on mood and people around me...

I'm on my winter vacation this week and the next, and planned to read books, manga, Sandman and maybe something about art, but have not started until now... reminds me some friends and i had thought of doing a comic or game together, but nothing's taken form at all... and in this case i'd probably end up as a colorist, which makes me sad, since... ever since i was young i always despised my colouring and don't enjoy it as much as drawing, but there are people that draw 9837876363957589365 times better than me that could illustrate, such as :devcrimson-moth:. Maybe i should just go ahead and do a project of my own, or something with someone else. I'd definitely love it, principally if we were to do a comic :3

Things here at home are getting better, ever since my aunt's death it was a bit rough, but getting back on track now. At least for the most part...

Enough with the dramatic statements, yes? Done with the usual drama queen moments... and complaining.Not creative to say much else... hope i have something nicer to post here. I've a couple of drawings, sketches from drawing class and from my comics class, a gift i don't think i'll put up here and Photoshop and SAI sketches i could work on. I think i will, since i can stay up late for the last few days... well, that's it for now. It's pretty much august already, isn't that surprising? I'd no idea how much this year had in store for me...

Hello. It has indeed been a while since i updated this journal, mostly because May's been busy and crazy and shocking and confusing and... not exactly uneventful. AnimeXtreme was indeed a lot of fun, but that was already over a month ago... i have pictures, but i'm not so sure about posting them here >.> alas, moving on to other matters...

Firstly, i've got to mention a few... events. My mother had an accident, but is recovering well and now she's already able to do more things as she usually does... and besides that, a short while i found out that one of my aunts comitted suicide. I'm not one to write much about these things online, but this is a way to let it out... of course it's awful, but i think i'm handling it all okay, other women in the family are much worse, i just... wanted some company, but have spent most of the time trying to come up with something to do, and nothing really works. It's... as if everything happens at the same time, all of it, good and bad, and all these things make it a little bit hard for me... i want to draw, but so afraid of what might come out, and... i don't know. Just a bit confused with the whole situation, shortly after mother got injured, my aunt kills herself, so i guess you think what's the next blow.
Of course, just to make it all better, i have a lot of tests in the next few days, and focusing on that is going to be hard. This is my last year at school, so it'd be nice if i kept my grades very good as they always used to be. And all things considered... i'm quite able to keep them good, just having a slightly rebellious period.
But really, beyond all this... time is slipping through my fingers. Going by so fast, too fast, making me dizzy and anxious, what's next? I'm slightly lost, but i'm not lonely as i used to be... which makes it so much better and harder still. My life used to be so empty, lonely and uneventful... and now that i've found some happiness a flurry of things comes to sweep me off of my feet again. Nice it's almost winter and cold and rainy, which i prefer to summer and hot and sunny. I want to keep drawing, i must keep on following my only dream ever... but do i have the strength?

Now, to settle a lighter mood... a tag by

Rulez:
1. Choose your charas.
2. Give answer for ALL questions.
3. Answer you and your chara.
4. Tag 5 peoples.
5. Have fun!

Characters: Red and Lazuli... all over my gallery.

QUESTIONS :
1. Where do you live?
Red: Anima Chronicles universe. No fixed residence there in the moment.
Lazuli: ... same here.
Lynxy: well... they're inside my head XD and... all over AC universe, pretty much. I'm so indecisive, no?

2. How old are you?
Red: Physically wise around 20.
Lazuli: that doesn't really answer the question well enough ¬¬ principally the over a 100 year coma part.
Red: YOU didn't answer either!
Lazuli: ... i'm an elf, so i look young.
Red: so you're not going to answer after all >8|
Lazuli: ...
Lynxy: poor things, if only i made things simpler... i'm 16, yes?

3. Do you have a GF/BF ?
Red:I... well... no, not really, well, it is no indeed... >.>
Lazuli: ... the correct answer seems to be no.
Lynxy:it's kind of personal, and i do not know wether i should really answer this... (which just makes it obvious it's a yes, isn't it? Oh... just gave it away now anyways)

4. Who's that?
Red: I already said no, damn it! Now leave or i'll use my scythe.
Lazuli: ... you're so easily pissed.
Lynxy: i'd rather not say but he's a redhead, of course

5. Fav game?
Red: i don't play anything, we don't really have anything around here ¬¬' but torturing people sure is awesome
Lazuli: ... how come i insist on interacting with that?
Red: since when am i THAT? ò.ó9
Lazuli: *ignores*
Lynxy: as for me... i don't play so much, but i'd say of Tales of the Abyss is one of them i most enjoyed.

6. What do you like in yourself?
Red: definitely not getting annoyed so easily.
Lazuli: hmmm... what was that again? Oh, right, nothing, just my irony and sarcasm.
Lynxy: capacity of understanding people... and i second Lazuli's answer. And i do not enjoy my obssession with the color red and redheads as much as i should.

7. Are you an artist?
Red: my artistic side is expressed only with a scythe >3
Lazuli: i like making shapes on things with wind, does that count? (LOL erosion)
Lynxy: i seem to consider myself one. Drawing and writing are very much my thing, but i only really try to develop the drawing... too slow in the moment.

8. What is your hobby?
Red: sharpening blades until they're perfect. I tend to always try to make people feel better, does that count? When i'm not getting angry at them and pointing the sharpened blades at them, of course.
Lazuli: uhh... making shapes with the wind ¬¬' and observing people from afar. Nothing very interesting about me.
Lynxy: well... drawing, reading, playing games a little bit, playing the keyboard/piano, music in general, spending time with people that are worth it, observing people, feeling the wind ._. similar to Lazuli

9. Believe in God?
Red: not on your concept of God... just... fuck it.
Lazuli: i believe, as most on AC universe, in the energy that moves all and originates the souls of every creature and the planet iself... which is what that meant.
Red: STOP IT. Enough already, i'm tired of getting mad!
Lynxy: how sad. Red is a sad thing, and Lazuli is miserable and depressed and neutral. No, i do not, sometimes i wish i had some sort of belief, but i simply don't.


10. If you were an animal.....
Red: i never thought of that... no idea.
Lazuli: a bat...
Lynxy: either a fox, or a lynx, or a wolf, or an owl... X3

11. Fav type of music?
Red: heavy stuff, but melodious, not just crappy noisy shit.
Lazuli: orchestral... depressive tunes and nocturnes...
Lynxy: i listen to a lot of rock in general, pop rock, even heavy metal influenced by some friends... but also j-pop/j-rock, bossa nova, tango, classical... usually not the most popular of the moment.

12. Fav band of music?
Red: don't have one...
Lazuli: ... *no answer*
Lynxy: stuff like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Queen, The Beatles(depends on the mood... okay, i do like them, which is boring XD), then we have some brazilian composers i won't be listing, and i like Bach and Chopin a lot, Beethoven also...

13. Tagg 5 peoples.
I won't tag anyone because... i've no idea who i could bother, so leave it at that. There you go, =haruh You have to do this too, my darling ~EzLatias :3