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Winter's almost here... June's journal entry

Sat May 30, 2009, 8:29 PM
  • Mood: Mortified
  • Listening to: All of my Love - Led Zeppelin
  • Reading: loads of manga, magazines laying around and books
  • Watching: I have Devil May Cry around here... ToA's on list
  • Playing: so much to play...
  • Drinking: i want blood <3
Hello. It has indeed been a while since i updated this journal, mostly because May's been busy and crazy and shocking and confusing and... not exactly uneventful. AnimeXtreme was indeed a lot of fun, but that was already over a month ago... i have pictures, but i'm not so sure about posting them here >.> alas, moving on to other matters...

Firstly, i've got to mention a few... events. My mother had an accident, but is recovering well and now she's already able to do more things as she usually does... and besides that, a short while i found out that one of my aunts comitted suicide. I'm not one to write much about these things online, but this is a way to let it out... of course it's awful, but i think i'm handling it all okay, other women in the family are much worse, i just... wanted some company, but have spent most of the time trying to come up with something to do, and nothing really works. It's... as if everything happens at the same time, all of it, good and bad, and all these things make it a little bit hard for me... i want to draw, but so afraid of what might come out, and... i don't know. Just a bit confused with the whole situation, shortly after mother got injured, my aunt kills herself, so i guess you think what's the next blow.
Of course, just to make it all better, i have a lot of tests in the next few days, and focusing on that is going to be hard. This is my last year at school, so it'd be nice if i kept my grades very good as they always used to be. And all things considered... i'm quite able to keep them good, just having a slightly rebellious period.
But really, beyond all this... time is slipping through my fingers. Going by so fast, too fast, making me dizzy and anxious, what's next? I'm slightly lost, but i'm not lonely as i used to be... which makes it so much better and harder still. My life used to be so empty, lonely and uneventful... and now that i've found some happiness a flurry of things comes to sweep me off of my feet again. Nice it's almost winter and cold and rainy, which i prefer to summer and hot and sunny. I want to keep drawing, i must keep on following my only dream ever... but do i have the strength?

Now, to settle a lighter mood... a tag by :iconharuh:

Rulez:
1. Choose your charas.
2. Give answer for ALL questions.
3. Answer you and your chara.
4. Tag 5 peoples.
5. Have fun!

Characters: Red and Lazuli... all over my gallery.

QUESTIONS :
1. Where do you live?
Red: Anima Chronicles universe. No fixed residence there in the moment.
Lazuli: ... same here.
Lynxy: well... they're inside my head XD and... all over AC universe, pretty much. I'm so indecisive, no?

2. How old are you?
Red: Physically wise around 20.
Lazuli: that doesn't really answer the question well enough ¬¬ principally the over a 100 year coma part.
Red: YOU didn't answer either!
Lazuli: ... i'm an elf, so i look young.
Red: so you're not going to answer after all >8|
Lazuli: ...
Lynxy: poor things, if only i made things simpler... i'm 16, yes?

3. Do you have a GF/BF ?
Red:I... well... no, not really, well, it is no indeed... >.>
Lazuli: ... the correct answer seems to be no.
Lynxy:it's kind of personal, and i do not know wether i should really answer this... (which just makes it obvious it's a yes, isn't it? Oh... just gave it away now anyways)

4. Who's that?
Red: I already said no, damn it! Now leave or i'll use my scythe.
Lazuli: ... you're so easily pissed.
Lynxy: i'd rather not say :p but he's a redhead, of course :rofl:

5. Fav game?
Red: i don't play anything, we don't really have anything around here ¬¬' but torturing people sure is awesome :heart:
Lazuli: ... how come i insist on interacting with that?
Red: since when am i THAT? ò.ó9
Lazuli: *ignores*
Lynxy: as for me... i don't play so much, but i'd say of Tales of the Abyss is one of them i most enjoyed.

6. What do you like in yourself?
Red: definitely not getting annoyed so easily.
Lazuli: hmmm... what was that again? Oh, right, nothing, just my irony and sarcasm.
Lynxy: capacity of understanding people... and i second Lazuli's answer. And i do not enjoy my obssession with the color red and redheads as much as i should.

7. Are you an artist?
Red: my artistic side is expressed only with a scythe >3
Lazuli: i like making shapes on things with wind, does that count? (LOL erosion)
Lynxy: i seem to consider myself one. Drawing and writing are very much my thing, but i only really try to develop the drawing... too slow in the moment.

8. What is your hobby?
Red: sharpening blades until they're perfect. I tend to always try to make people feel better, does that count? When i'm not getting angry at them and pointing the sharpened blades at them, of course.
Lazuli: uhh... making shapes with the wind ¬¬' and observing people from afar. Nothing very interesting about me.
Lynxy: well... drawing, reading, playing games a little bit, playing the keyboard/piano, music in general, spending time with people that are worth it, observing people, feeling the wind ._. similar to Lazuli ^^;

9. Believe in God?
Red: not on your concept of God... just... fuck it.
Lazuli: i believe, as most on AC universe, in the energy that moves all and originates the souls of every creature and the planet iself... which is what that meant.
Red: STOP IT. Enough already, i'm tired of getting mad!
Lynxy: how sad. Red is a sad thing, and Lazuli is miserable and depressed and neutral. No, i do not, sometimes i wish i had some sort of belief, but i simply don't.


10. If you were an animal.....
Red: i never thought of that... no idea.
Lazuli: a bat...
Lynxy: either a fox, or a lynx, or a wolf, or an owl... X3

11. Fav type of music?
Red: heavy stuff, but melodious, not just crappy noisy shit.
Lazuli: orchestral... depressive tunes and nocturnes...
Lynxy: i listen to a lot of rock in general, pop rock, even heavy metal influenced by some friends... but also j-pop/j-rock, bossa nova, tango, classical... usually not the most popular of the moment.

12. Fav band of music?
Red: don't have one...
Lazuli: ... *no answer*
Lynxy: stuff like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Queen, The Beatles(depends on the mood... okay, i do like them, which is boring XD), then we have some brazilian composers i won't be listing, and i like Bach and Chopin a lot, Beethoven also...

13. Tagg 5 peoples.
I won't tag anyone because... i've no idea who i could bother, so leave it at that. There you go, =haruh You have to do this too, my darling ~EzLatias :3

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 1 1 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconkurenai-krom:
interesting way to put it all.....such a shame that I do'nt have characters like you guys....I am working on it....so I better beggin to look more to what I and my friends want ,and do it all....even school......

What an amazing thing to happen now...But isn't it sad that even being so convenient, it is NOT?!?!?!?!?
It was all so sudden...bad stuff happens at the best moments......good stuff comes, bad walk in along,holding hands and laughting at yourface....damned time-space corruption....
well...being in such a great, crowded and tumulted weekend get us very down and tired.....like I am at the moment.....don't you dare try to thank me for being anywhere with you :ignore: ...
I want/ed so..is it unpleasant?....OF COURSE...but it happened...so... nothing justify complains and moaning about it....!!!



Then, see ya'round, Lynxy....! :eager: :raincloud:
:iconlynxy-foxy-b-wolf:
Hehe... so ambiguous and with no true information, is it not? Well, characters have always been a constant for me, so... still, i don't think my characters are half as developed or fun as Gih's... you can ask me about them if you want, sometime. And hey... do it only when you feel like it, forcing doesn't get you anywhere, it's just like me and music and everything else. You just have to be yourself... and hopefully things will sort themselves out. I've been having an awful lot of a hard time with doing it all, either i don't read or don't draw or don't write, my chars have been waaaay far from priority... which i do not like. Actually, it's all a bit confusing and tiring and too much, no? Do you feel this way too?

Heh, indeed... well, it's always like that. When you least expect it, or when you can't notice such things will happen... that's life, i guess. Ironic. As usual. And yeah, i got really tired, and this week overall kind of sucked, so to say, with the exception of tuesday night and when i received my history "recovery" exam, in which i got ten. HAHAHAHAHA! Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeen... ok, i'm not hyper. I got in a "i won't be able to do everything and'll never achieve a thing" mood, or something of the sort, and feel strange. Yeah. What a great explanation that was. I've got to thank you, because you deserve to be thanked... it was an awful atmosphere to stand and yes, i wanted to be with you too... of course the circumstances were unpleasant... and you beared it with me, but okay, i won't thank you ¬¬

Well, see ya soon, i hope, creature of reddish hair X3 that sounds much funnier in portuguese... "criatura de cabelos avermelhados..."

--
If you're always part of the damned 2%, copy & paste this into your signature.
:iconkurenai-krom:
Creature of crimson hair...would definately be better.....reddish ....just.....doesn't sound like existing....you know?
:iconlynxy-foxy-b-wolf:
Hmm... crimson-haired creature... not bad, not bad... did you understand anything i said? I don't think i did... XD

--
If you're always part of the damned 2%, copy & paste this into your signature.
:iconharuh:
DDD: pesames pela sua tia... ela morreu, né? mesmo que vc não acredita e Deus e talz, eu vou orar por vc, k rite? D:

--
:noes::gun: :noes::megaphone: GAY!

avatar was made by ~Vectomon
:iconlynxy-foxy-b-wolf:
Sim, ela se suicidou há duas semanas atrás... claro, pode orar. Obrigada :hug:

--
I don't belong anywhere... where should i go? Should i follow the things i wished... but then do i have what it takes?
:iconkurenai-krom:
If I hadn't, I would have warned you.....wouldn't I?

Plus, you know that I understand you more than the average grade from the ones you deal with at your day-by-day... (:


Well... see ya'round, Lynxy!
:iconlynxy-foxy-b-wolf:
Well, i guess so... hihi. I do know, but i insist on checking and making sure, "is it really possible someone could understand me that much?" i catch myself wondering... you know i understand you too, right? Maybe not always right when you say something, but eventually :3

Enjoyed calling me Lynxy, didn't you? :icongwomp: see ya soon, crimson haired bishounen :rofl: it just gets worse, yes?

--
I don't belong anywhere... where should i go? Should i follow the things i wished... but then do i have what it takes?
:iconkurenai-krom:
plz check the messages on that chat-journal...


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